Last Post

This is the last post of the semester. I have no idea if I will have Brett again so I am not sure if I will keep this blog or not. I know I have not been a very good blogger and ramble a lot (including in this blog). I am not very good at keeping up with current issues and being able to write about them. I know this is not so good because intelligent people are suppose to do this, but Im lazy. It is one of my biggest flaws.

Anyway, I really did not enjoy blogging. It just is not my thing. Now if I could write poetry or descriptive essays, now that I would enjoy. I can write figuratively all day. I can even analyze literature, but academic writing and blog writing, I suck. I have written a lot of creative things and am proud of some of my work. I have actually been published before. I sort of lost touch with writing for a few years and am trying to get back in with it. I used to be amazing, or so I was told.

I would not mind being able to write a novel some day. It is actually a dream of mine to become a famous published author. I would really leave my mark on the world for a long time. I know I could never be Danielle Steele but even just slightly well known and I would be happy. I have been told that I have plenty of good book ideas I just need to sit down and write them out.

Well, this is the end of the last blog. I am going to kick up my feet and enjoy a nice cold beer.

I. Hate. Technology.

I swear I am an automatic technology glitch. I went to my chemistry practical. I ended up with one that has to use a program on a computer. Guess what, the computer did not want to cooperate. Just my luck. Plus, I was told that I got the hardest assignment. Lucky me. I spent the entire time and still barely finished. I was down to the seconds. Damn technology. I really dont understand why everything has to revolve around technology, and why I seem to break it.

When I got back to my apartment, I had to wait 30 minutes while my damn computer decided to act up and would not start properly. What do I have some sort of weird radiation flowing from my body that screws up technology. If that is not enough, My phone somehow got stuck on speaker, it took me a few minutes of fussing with it to get it to turn off. I really think I am bad luck with electronics. Something has got to give!

I just found out that I am able to go to my friends daughters softball game tonight. I really enjoy watching kids play. I never got to do that as a child and being able to watch others enjoy makes me feel happy. Plus, there is nothing better than a hot dog at the ball park. Even though they are really not healthy at all. One of my younger cousins plays softball and is amazing. She is on the All State travel team for Florida. She is out for the season though because she got hit in the head with a softball by one of her teammates. It hit her so hard that it broke her skull. She had a big dent in her head and had to go for surgery to correct it and prevent any further injury. Shes probably only about eleven too.

AH!

Chem lab is in less than an hour. I just finished memorizing everything that I needed to. It was not as hard as I thought it was going to be. I sure hope this is not as tricky as the teacher said it was. I talked to her last night and she thinks these will be pretty hard. She said something about having to think outside the box. I dont really see how with the experiments that are going to be covered. Im hoping to get an easier one because last time I was assigned the one that I was absent for. Thankfully I did my preparations correctly and did just fine. If this turns out to be tricky I hope my brain does not decide to freeze up. I already have a bad enough head ache that does not want to go away!

I must have the worst luck with electronics. The computer I borrowed from my boyfriend is now starting to act up on me. My brand new phone decided it was going to freeze last night and the speaker some how keeps turning on by itself. The other day I could not get my ipod to work and now Im just waiting on my television to go. I sure hope it doesnt because i just bought it! It was a sort of Christmas present to myself. I spent over five hundred dollars on it and I will be pissed if something happens. Every one keeps trying to jinx me because they find it very funny.

I am about to go over my material one more time and then buy me a stinking coffee or something to get my head on straight. wish me luck!

Final Class

I just had my last lifespan psychology class and exam. The exam was really easy, blew me away how easy actually. I handed in my paper and all was well. As I was walking out, the instructor stopped me to tell me she enjoyed one of the papers I wrote. She has personally been going through a lot and hasnt been able to hand them back yet.

I actually dont remember what the paper was supposed to be about but I remember the part she said touched her. It was a recollection of an incident when I was a child. I had an abusive step-father and he loved to torment me. She looked like she was tearing up when she was telling me about when seh read the paper. I have never had a teacher approach me like that. I always just brush things off from my past because I dont really want to think about it. I was touched that she was touched. I am going to have to look up other classes she teaches because I really enjoyed her class.

I have to do my lab practical next. Really not looking forward to it. I just found out we are suppose to know all these different colors for certain ions and i dont look forward to memorizing them. I have a headache now just thinking about it. I also have to commit to memory the procedure. I have about 2 hours to do all this in. I know I can do it because I have before. Its just a pain in the ass. After today, because Thursdays are always the worst, I wont have any more stress. That is unless I procrastinate my studying for a final, which I will not do because I want the Deans list again.

Accomplishment

I just finished writing a nine page paper in under three hours. I feel so very thrilled with myself. I would not have had to finish it that fast though if it werent for procrastination, I have a feeling that will be the death of me. The paper was for my lifespan psychology class. It was just a paper on Erikson's eight stages of psychosocial development. Nothing too fancy. I found the class very interesting and perhaps that is why I did so well in it. Not only do we have a paper due today, but it is also the last class and the fourth exam. I did not study, but didnt for the other tests either. I got an A on all of them, maybe because I enjoy the subject the information stuck with me. I dont know. Im glad that hte final is optional. She is using the final as a way to make up an exam grade to better your grade. I really dont think I need to take it unless I found out that I didnt do very well on my last two papers. But, I highly doubt I will need to.

I also have my chemistry lab practical today. I have yet to study for it so I am glad I got the second time slot. I will finish my exam a little early and be able to use the extra time to study. I can sit in the library, something I never do by the way, and study without distractions. Im not too worried about it because I didnt miss any points on the last one we had. Though I am told this one is a little trickier than the last. Im sure I will do fine though.

After that I have to try to cram in a few more blogs. Yes I know BORING. I highly doubt anyone gets very much entertainment by my ramblings but it must be done. I am hoping to make the deans list so I have to play hardcore catch up. Yes I know I am always talking about how much I procrastinate.

Oh well. I must get dressed and head over to my exam. Im really looking forward to a nice cold beer tonight!

Dreaming

I have always been fascinated with dreams. I have had some odd ones in my time and have often looked up meanings to certain aspects of them. Not that I am saying I completely believe in dream interpretations but I find it fascinating.

I have been having a lot of strange and vivid dreams lately. Especially ones about my boyfriend cheating on me. This is one of the reasons I believe he is. Most of them deal with him and his ex (my ex roommate) getting back together. Everyone else in the dreams always know what is going on and it as if everything has been a big joke on me. She always rubs it in my face in the dreams and I always wake up in panic attacks or crying. The other night after one particularly bad dream, I woke up in a cold sweat but my skin was very hot and I threw up. That is how vivid my dreams are. I can not say I have ever experienced anything quite like this before. I have had dreams where I wake up crying or wake up feeling like I still have an injury I obtained in the dream, but never woke up with actual physical ailments.

It is really starting to worry me. These dreams are making me analyze everything that is being said or done and I dont like it. One of the dreams even consists of me on my wedding day walking down the aisle toward him and then the ex pops out from behind a pillar in a white dress and the ceremony begins while Im standing in the aisle and everyone is laughing at me. He would look at me and laugh saying and you actually thought Id marry you, thats cute. The other dreams always has the ex saying the same thing...and you think you can offer him something I cant, get over yourself. I dont know if this is just my greatest fears coming out but Ive been dreaming these for a couple of months now. Even before I saw something I wasnt suppose to.

When my computer crashed, my boyfriend let me borrow his. I knew his password from before we started dating and my curiosity got the best of me. I logged into his yahoo account and saw conversations he had been having with his ex. Ones that elude to sex, they used to use a funny metaphor and she was say she wasnt white because she had her mexican injection. In the conversations he called her a cracker, yes odd i know, and she said nope not anymore i had my mexican booster, then in another conversation, he had asked her when she wanted her next booster. Seems pretty convincing to me. I do not know how to approach this because I was never suppose to see these. Although, he has gone through my emails and phone before without asking.

Who knows, it could all be a big misunderstanding. But Ill continue with my motto, expect the worst and hope for the best.

NCIS

Now Im not one who usually watches a television series religiously, but lately I have been drawn to NCIS. Usually other crime shows are generic to me. I would watch them a few times and then completely loose interest. They were all formatted exactly the same and the personal drama was more in depth than the crimes.

NCIS does usually have the generic order layout of a crime show but it is not overwhelmingly filled with personal drama, though unless you know the story lines, you dont really know what is going on between the characters. I love ALL the characters but especially like Abby. She is not someone I would have pictured in the forensic lab, and that is why I like her all the more. Unfortunately, I believe my boyfriend would love to jump in the sack with her character if he could. Its not like he would have the chance hahaha.

I love the a website that I found for all actors and actresses. Its called the International Movie Database. Just type in imdb.com. This site is perfect for all movie and television junkies, like me. Though I am more of the movie junkie type. I could not believe how old some of the characters on this show are!

For instance, the coroner Ducky, was born in 1933. I could not believe how well he looks on the show. He does not even look like he could be that old. Another one that baffles me is Anthony DiNozzo. He is the same age as my father! 41! It is a little unnerving that he is that old.

I just thought I would share my amusement while I was thinking of it sitting on my couch watching an older episode of NCIS.

Online Math Class????

I have always had a little bit of trouble with math. It is not exactly my strongest subject not that I am completely horrible at it though. This is my first college math class and I do not understand why it is formatted the way it is. Well I sort of can, for administrators convenience. Although convenience is not really all that conducive to students learning.

I sat in my math class every time for the topics covered for the first exam. I got a C on the exam. Did all of the online homework and even reviewed. Still a C. The next exam, I did not go to any classes. My grade, a B. I thought myself better using the online materials than I did trying to listen to the lectures. Although the online information helped me better, it still does not compete with having to do hand written assignments from a textbook. Not all situations are covered in the handful of questions that must be completed. I do not understand why a student's success should be jeopardized for the convenience of the faculty. it is completely ridiculous!

I am now trying to figure out math homework as I am typing. I took a quick break to type this of course. I am experiencing a lot of aggravation at the program because it does not want to work properly with the computer I am using. I am not able to use my own because it crashed a week ago. Just another problem I can add to my list that has occurred this semester. I swear it is like the forces of nature are against my completing college without mass aggravations. The first semester of college my ex boyfriend died in a horrid car accident the week before finals. The second semester my mother moved down right before finals and my step father started to harass me thinking I was to blame. And, this semester I have had to deal with the FBI my dads gambling, his car accident, and his tumor that came back, plus my computer dying! How much can one person deal with!

Ranting

I just found out that even though I will have an A percentage in my chemistry lab, my percentage equals a T-score of a B. Now that makes absolutely no damn sense to me! How in the hell does A work turn into a B score...there is no freaking reason for it. Not only that, the last quiz we took in that class had questions with multiple stepped answers. If you got only one part of the answer wrong, the whole thing was wrong, no partial credit. Seems a little odd compared to what I am used to.

I have decided to get a degree in psychology, but still be on the pre-med track. I find psych much more interesting than I do bio. According to my father psychology is a worthless piece of man made bullshit that doesnt mean anything. Well if thats the case father, why does almost every university or college have degrees in it? Somehow I have to tell him that this is my life and I want to be a psych major. Last time I told him I was doing something that he did not "approve" of, he told me that I was wasting myself and I was not meant to live a mediocre life but a higher one, and if i do anything less than what he deems appropriate it is completely unacceptable. I love psych. Next semester is going to be amazing because I get to dissect the personality-theory class- and I get to start psychopathology. I didnt get into the drugs and behavior class or the human sexuality class like I wanted to but thats ok because I was going to take these classes at a later date anyway.

Redundancy

I have to complete like 15 blogs in less than two days in order to meet the requirements....not very good planning on my part I know. Probably will not get the grade I want anyway. I am hoping to be on the Deans list again this semester but its not looking all that promising. Completely my fault.

I am about to pick up my last two graded labs from chemistry because I have a lab practical tomorrow. I really HATE practicals. We get one we have completed before, randomly assigned of course. Then we have to completely write the procedure out from memory and perform the experiment to get the answer to the question asked. Very much a pain in my butt. Not only do I have to do that tomorrow. But I have an eight page paper due that I have to finish and I have an exam in the same class as the one the paper is due. After that I have a little break and then my lab practical. Thank goodness my exam is in lifespan psychology because I absolutely LOVE psychology. I am really good at it too. I did not even have to by the book for this class because I have not even opened it, and yes I still have an A.

Chemistry. That is another matter. I love chemistry also but, for some reason I am not doing as well. I got a C on my last exam. Thank goodness I can make up that section on the final and replace my grade or I would not know what to do. I should end up with an A in the whole class as long as I study for the final exam. I was a genius in Chem in high school and I took two advanced classes. I was actually a tutor for the lower levels. But, then again I am a little rusty because it has been oh I dont know, probably 4 or 5 years since Ive even looked at a chemistry book before this class. I should be able to pull of a good final as long as I spend the time studying.

Tai Chi

I am somewhat of a skeptic when it comes to the hippie meditation guru stuff. After this semester though I am no longer one. I took my required PE class for school. I am not the most athletic person in the world. I have never played a competitive sport in my life...thank you asshole step father...I was never allowed. Now I am too self conscious to start one. But, that is besides the point. So instead of one that would make me look like a fat slob because it takes me 20 minutes to run a mile and a half...not kidding....I took tai chi. I had taken a few classes when I was in high school but the dojo I went to was a joke. The instructor was there maybe once out of 6 times I went.

Any way, this class was amazing, even if it was at 9 in the morning. I am not a morning person at all. I can wake up and stay up, but my brain does not really start functioning until the afternoon. I really felt better after the class. The stretching helped with my tight muscles a lot. I am always extremely tense. One of my ex-step mothers was a massage therapist and would give me massages after school. I could get one everyday and still have the same knots the next day that she had worked out before. I dont know if its because I am a worry wort or if its how I sleep but I live with chronic back pain and tension head aches. This class actually helped. I definitely needed it this semester.

The meditation worked wonders on calming my always running mind. I swear sometimes I can be thinking of fifteen different things at once. Just concentrating on breathing and blocking everything out calmed me so much. I would be in shaking fits and would sit down and meditate for even just five minutes and it helped so much. The actual form practice was a bit difficult to get down and I still do not have it completely memorized but it was amazing! I didnt know I could move that fluidly and be so relaxed. The parts I know by heart, and this compliment happened about thirty minutes ago, I was told by the instructor looked absolutely perfect. He said that I really looked calmed and centered. Weird for someone like me who is always and i do mean always thinking about something!!!

Rain Rain..

Go away! I hate rainy days. It always seems like every time I have a lot to do....it rains. I think it is suppose to rain tomorrow too. And of course I have to walk all over campus tomorrow. Anyway, I am about to attend two gym classes in a row since I am allowed to make up to, in hopes that I will still get an A in the course. Once again, procrastination at its greatest. I really need to fix myself before next semester or I will never survive

Next semester I have Chem 102, Anat. Phys. Psychopathology, theory of personality and English lit. The only thing is that both psych classes only meet once a week, one monday from 6-9 and one wed from 6-9. then my chem lab is tuesday from 630-930 and then anatomy lab from 6-9 on thursday. The only good things about my sched for next semester is I only have one class on friday and dont have classes until 10 wonday wednesday and friday. And dont have class until 2 on tuesday and thursday.

What really bothers me about rain is my umbrella somehow disappeared and now i have to walk all the way across campus without one. and for some reason I always get stuck in the cold rain. Not fun. Next week it is suppose to thunder storm sunday through wednesday, thank goodness I only have class on monday and the final i have wednesday is online so no going anywhere then.

Semesters Ending....

And Im a dumbass. I have waited until the last minute to complete all of my required blogs. Procrastination at its best, or should I say worst. Now i have to complete like 15 blogs in three days so here comes some rambling. I really don't know what happened to me this semester. I havent applied myself like I usually do. And now Im at the point that I just dont care anymore, I want this semester over with.

I think this has a lot to do with everything that has gone on this semester. At the beginning I had to worry about mine and my mother's safety. She left my soon to be ex-step father in November. After he realized my half-sisters dont want anything to do with him he went crazy. He threatened to come kill my mother and then when she didnt react to that, he threatened to come after me at school and then my sisters. He was supposedly going to save my mother for last so she could watch him torture me because he thought I was her favorite. He is so sick that death and rape werent the worse things that could happen to me, from what he would go into detail describing to us. Those were a hectic few weeks. He is now in jail thankfully. The case was actually high priority because he threatened to come on campus to get me and even mentioned bombs...the FBI took over because of this. At the moment he is facing 7 counts of threats to kill with 5-7 years in prison for each, and its federal prison. On top of that, we are waiting for ballistic tests to come back on 20 guns that were confiscated, two of which are illegal right off the bat because he is a prior convicted felon. He had a handgun and an SKS assault rifle. Those are two more charges that he is facing and possibly more if it turns out the other guns were used in another crime or stolen. On top of that, the FBI is tracking down the computers he has had in the last few years looking for child pornography since he had a past history that we did not know about. In other words, he has really screwed himself. So that is at least one thing that I dont really have to worry about.

On top of that, my fathers tumor came back. For a few weeks we didnt know if it was cancer or not, but thankfully its not. We do have to worry about its growth though. The last time it made breathing and eating difficult it grew so large and this time it has attached to his stomach. On top of that, my father has started gambling again, not cool. Last time he stole almost 5 grand from me.

Not only that, but Ive been really sick lately. I guess the stress is getting to me. Plus I have to try to keep up with school. Oh and did i mention that I think my boyfriend is cheating on me. And last week my computer crashed. Not cool.

Jef-fa-fa Dun-HAM

I love Jeff Dunham. He is a ventriloquist comedian and has been around for years. I have all of his movies and have most of his skits memorized I have watched him so much. Yes, I am a nerd when it comes to him. I have actually peed myself laughing so hard at his jokes.

I love Peanut. He is absolutely my favorite. I love the sarcastic cockiness. Then there is Walter. I have a guy I call pops this and he so reminds me of this character. There is only one way to describe him: a crotchey old fucker. It describes his personality perfectly. And to be honest, I am pretty sure just about everyone knows someone like this. Then I like Achmed, the dead terrorist. He is really funny and I love the accent. He is my favorite in Jeff Dunham's Christmas special. I have never laughed so hard in my life. Jeff even made himself laugh in that one and forget where he was in the skit.

Weeeeellll, He is coming to town! Actually Fayetteville, but close enough that I can go. Tickets are only forty bucks too. I cannot wait! I am going to be going with my boyfriend and my friend Autumn and her husband. We all laugh and joke and play pranks on each other so I know it will be a good time. All we need now is to find a DD. We will ALL be drinking and I do not want someone to get a ticket in F-ville , cops there are assholes because of Fort Bragg. Needless to say, I CANT WAIT. He is my absolute favorite comedian and I am so excited.

A time from Hell.

It all started last Friday before my math exam. I got a text message from my mom, who is divorced from my father, but dating him after twenty years. Anyway, she told me my father was in another car wreck. This is his second in six months. He has been in three accidents that he should have died in. Two where he broke his neck and one where a tractor trailer ran over him. Anyway, he was driving his roommate to the airport when a drunk driver swerved in his lane and hit him head on. My dad is fine this time but still aggravating and stressful.

On Saturday, I got a text from my father. My cousin is in the hospital. She is only about 11 and was playing in a softball tournament. She is on the All state travel team for Florida. Shes got one hell of an arm and is an amazing first base-man. Well, shes out for the rest of the season. A teammate hit her in the head with a softball, at close range. It broke her skull. She now has a dent in her head and had to undergo surgery to prevent any further injury.

Then, on Sunday, I got in a fight, with a tree...it won. I was horseback riding and letting go. I was trying some stress relief so I just let Waco take the lead and relaxed to enjoy the ride. The relaxing was a mistake. He cut to close to a tree and a branch hit me in the eye. I now have a cut under my eye, a scrape off the corner of my eye and my eyelid got cut. Oh and to make it better, it swelled up and bruised.

Monday roles around and I figured things would get better. WRONG. My computer died. Just died, randomly. I spent all day fighting with TAC just for them to tell me at 9:30 at night that they cant do anything, sorry for the inconvenience. Sorry my ass, I had a paper due the next morning, thank god she gave me an extension.

Political Cartoon

This political cartoon is quite humorous. The couple sitting on the couch represents the average respectable American couple. They are watching television where the screen reads "Return on Success." The statement is fairly normal and would expect a respectable looking person accomplishing something to go along with it. But, that is not the case. Instead, President George W. Bush is seen half dressed posing like a female stripper. This shows that Bush receives little respect for his "comeback". The wording under the picture verifies the belief. I think even without the wording, this cartoon would be successful in demonstrating the views that many have of President Bush. His whole career can be summed up with this cartoon. His only success is making a mockery of himself. The fact that it is in black and white can be interpreted that there is no in between. He either is or isn't a fool. Bush was even drawn in a sarcastic way. His features were overdone and he was made to look like a monkey, also demonstrating peoples idea that he is foolish.

Sunburn Season----OUCH!

First sunburn of the season and its a doosey. Its not from the beach either----its from horses! I even had sunblock on and I still got fried. Both my father and I are like that. No matter how much sunblock we put on, how often and how high the SPF is, we still get fried. I remember being told that every major sunburn you get increases your chance skin cancer by 10%. Not good for us!!! My hobbies keep me in the sun-fishing, horse back riding, beach... the list goes on and on. I guess Im just screwed.

Back to the horses. I had to get up really early this morning because one of them is sick and had to meet the vet. My appaloosa has been acting up lately so I decided since I was out there and had the time, why not work with him a little bit. I brought Waco out, brushed him down, and saddled up--no problem there. As soon as I put my foot in the sturrup, he decided to take off. Ok, he wants to be an asshole, so I let him take the lead. He tried to get me off his back so bad...didnt work. ran me through a bush, jumped a ditch, ran into a tree, tried to turn real sharp and come to a quick stop..haha didnt work. The harder he tried the more pissed he got. I continued to let him have his way until he decided to give up. --see the thing with horses is that if you let them get away with something once, they will try it every time-- He thought he was done, but he thought wrong. I ran his ass into the ground. By the time I was done making him run circles and listening to what I said, he was happy to walk nicely around the yard. Thatll teach Waco to have an attitude. Theres no lesson like a long hard workout that leaves him tired.

After I was done with Waco, I hosed him down then did the two quarter horses and my yearling paint. She was a handful because shes still young. But after I cross-tied her she decided to calm down.

Drinking Tip:
Ameretto Sour-AMAZING
or mix it with pepsi-tastes like vanilla pepsi
BUT-dont drink on the rocks, tastes like cough medicine

Hectic Times

This has been one of the most hectic times of my life! My mother moved down from New York, my ex-step father is now in jail because he was trying to kill me, my mother and sisters, my father's tumor came back, one of my horses just got injured and on top of all that is my school work. Needless to say, my grades have suffered a little bit. I feel like my head is always spinning and I never have a moment to myself.

I have never realized how much I depend on technology. My cell phone broke about a week back. For a full 24 hours I felt completely lost because I didnt have my phone. It was horrid. Its funny how not even 20 years ago cell phones were a rarity, now they seem like neccessity.

Since Im in college and of age I figured Id give a drinking tip at the end of every post.
Today's tip:
Cheap drink that tastes good- Blue Tarantula
For $20 you get the mix and the tequilla-tastes sort of like a blue jollyrancher

April Fool's

...Or is it. I played the best trick on my sister Heather today. My mom was on the computer looking at craigslist when she saw an ad for American cattle dogs. She fell in love with how cute they were. So while they were in school, We went to the place and got one. She is absolutely adorable. All Black and white and looks like she has freckles. She also has big black spots on her back that look like a paw print and a white mark on her forehead that looks like a heart. She was the most timid and really quiet of all the puppies. She was also the runt and my mom was very skeptic of getting her. Somehow, I won!

In the car she sat on my lap the whole time and was just as cute as could be. She is really sweet too. Mom could not believe how good she was. I even put her in my purse to take her into Wal-mart so we could pick out some toys and a collar for her. She just sat in my purse the whole time with her head poking out. I kept getting so many compliments.

When my sisters got home from school I got punched. they actually thought I was joking, even though I texted them picture of her. WE decided to name her Bella. And no it was not because of Twilight. When she was playing she was very dainty and cute and looks very proper. She reminded me of a belle of the ball so we named her bella. I cant wait to start training her. She will be the best behaved dog ever!